(music) [Jazz]
[Foghorn Blows]
[Seagulls Cawing]
(music) I'm in the mood for love (music)
(music) Simply because you're near me (music)
(music) Oh, funny when you're near me (music)
(music) I'm in the mood for love (music)
(music) Heaven is in your eyes (music)
- [Cawing] - (music) Bright as the stars we're under (music)
(music) Oh, is it any wonder (music)
(music) Oh, that, baby I'm in the mood for love (music)
(music) Mmm, why stop to think of whether (music)
(music) This little dream might fade (music)
(music) We put our hearts together (music)
(music) Now we are one (music)
(music) I'm not afraid (music)
(music) If there's a cloud above (music)
(music) If it should rain we'll let it (music)
(music) Oh, just for tonight forget it (music)
(music) Baby, I'm in the mood for love (music)
[Chattering]
You two stay right here this time in the same two chairs. Don't even switch chairs.
So, your folks are currently in...
Switzerland, right?
- Yeah. - Helen's mother, Lillian...
Oh, she just sent Emily a postcard from...
Prague.
Can you just put your finger here?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Prague is all pink, in case you didn't know.
(music) I'm in the mood for love (music)
(music) Simply because you're near me (music)
- (music) Oh, funny when (music) - [Chattering]
- (music) You're near me (music) - [Woman] Here comes Helen.
- (music) I'm in the mood for love (music) - All that running has to be bad for a person.
(music) Heaven is in your eyes (music)
(music) Bright as the stars we're under (music)
- (music) Oh, is it any wonder (music) - [Helen Panting]
- (music) I'm in the mood for love (music) - I do think, dear, that, whenever I get the urge to exercise,
I lie down until it passes over.
Good morning, Miss Scattergoods.
[Old Lady] Jerry Dworkin and his second wife are here,
in what used to be Yugoslavia.
- Mmm? - Can I have another finger here?
- Always put your postcards in an envelope. - Oh, thank you.
Siren, Daddy! Siren!
- Yeah, siren! - [Both Giggling]
- [Siren Wailing] - [Girls Cheering]
- [Man] Hey, Johnny! - Hey, George!
[Girls] Again! Again!
Come on, Daddy!
Yea!
Shoot!
Morning, Helen!
Hey, uh, how about this?
Uh, A vote for me is a vote for Loblolly-By-The-Sea"?
- How about this, Ray? Fix the shower this week. - The parts are on the way.
- That's what you said last week. - Last week I was lying because I forgot to order them.
- Ow! - But this week it's true. They're on the way.
- A vote for me is a vote for you. - Ooh, oh, that's really good!
You know, you could be my campaign manager.
A vote for me is a vote for you."
Whoa! Whoops.
Fix it again, Ray.
[Helen] Here, Emily. You'll need this.
Mom, I'll be the only girl at camp bringing a dictionary.
Good. Oh, here, um. Phone list here. Important.
Mom, bookstore, Dad, home, car, fax, satellite, Grandma...
You know what? I don't even know where my mother is. Oh, your monkey.
I just got a postcard from her. She's in Prague. She says the whole city's pink.
- I wanna go there. - She never sends me any postcards.
[Kids Chattering]
- [Horn Beeps] - Rufus, move. Come on!
[Horn Honks]
- Rufus, move. - [Panting]
[Bells Jingle]
- [Tape Rewinding] - [Machine Beeps]
Helen, it's your ex. I said I'd send the check by the 14th, and I will.
- (music) Only the lonely (music) - I've got two families to support now.
- I just can't keep paying for everything for everybody. - (music) Know the way I feel tonight (music)
I have bills for the ballet, jazz, tap and classic.
- I can't do it all, Helen. [Machine Beeps] - (music) Only the lonely (music)
- (music) Know this feeling (music) - Oh! Sorry!
- I'm okay. My fault. - (music) Dum-dum-dum-bee-doo-wa (music)
- (music) There goes my baby (music) - (music) Ba-ba-ba-ba (music)
- How come I'm always on time and my employees are always late? - Good morning.
I am not an employee. I'm your manager.
And we're late because your idea of on time" is to get here 20 minutes before anyone else.
- How can we be on time when you're always early? - Let me start over.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- How come you're late? - I had another date with the pilot last night.
Couldn't get my seat back in the upright position.
- (music) Only the lonely (music) - You know what I'm sayin'?
- [Bell Jingles] - You wouldn't.
Hi. I have, um,
one bran walnut banana muffin,
one apricot wheat germ scone, one iced decaf latte,
one iced cafe mocha...
and one... one iced double latte.
You didn't, uh, get me a plain cup of coffee, did you?
Do you think I'll be able to start in on the sociology section this week, Janet,
because it's filled with all these really outdated books.
(music) [Hard Rock]
[Man] Look at that kid. You think he's on dope?
I can give him a citation for playing that music so loud.
Um, Helen hired him for the summer.
Looks to me like he's on dope.
No, he's taking care of his parents' place. They're in Europe or something.
- Looks to me like he's on dope. - Well, gee, Dan,
why don't you train Yeller to sniff out reefer like they do in the city?
- You know how they do that? - Do what?
- Train those dogs. - How, Dan?
Get 'em hooked on it.
[Bell Jingles]
McNeely, where's my coffee?
- It's over there. Good morning to you too. - [Siren Wailing]
[Girls Chattering] Yea!
Well, here we go! Thank you! Greetings, booksellers.
Hey, fireman. Hey, girls.
I found these little monkeys hanging out of a tree.
- Hello, little monkeys. Hey, George. - Hey.
Heard about that toaster oven fire. What was the deal with that?
- English muffin. - I heard it was a PopTart.
- No. English muffin. - Did it have raisins in it?
- No, traditional English muffin. - Thank God, 'cause raisins can be... Poof! They just...
I had a raisin catch fire once in my toaster, and it's...
[Laughs] All right. Well, anyway, enjoy.
Did my books come in yet?
Jan, did George's books come in yet?
[McNeely] He's in love with her.
- He's been in love with her since high school. She told me. - [Johnny] She did not.
All right, so she didn't tell me, but I can tell anyway.
It's typical midlife crisis behavior.
Women don't have midlife crisis. Most hit their peak in their 40s and 50s.
That's a known fact. And my research suggests...
that most women reach their highest potential at that age...
because they're finally free of childbearing.
I was talkin' about George.
Okay, well, here are your books.
Uh, The Complete Idiot's Guide to Surviving Divorce.
- The Divorce Workbook, - Yeah. Thank you.
And, of course, How Come Nobody Loves Me?
- [Clamor, Girls Shouting] - Uh-oh, what's going on here?
- Oh! Oh! - [Girls Crying]
[Panting]
- [Ringing] - Because you're on the...
- Janet, watch the kids! - I got 'em. Okay.
- [Alarm Continues] - Be careful.
Daddy's going to play with his fire hose!
- That didn't sound right. - [Engine Starts]
[Siren Wailing]
- [Siren Stops] - [Glass Shattering]
[George] Back away, folks. All right, be careful, everyone.
Back away. Stay calm. Coming through.
[Loud Clattering]
[Snorting]
(music) I love Loblolly Love Loblolly, love Loblolly (music)
(music) Love, love Loblolly, love (music)
Do me a favor, will you? Will you put bills in one pile, junk mail in another pile?
- Right, right, right, right. - Don't throw anything out until I see it, please?
- Yep. I promise. - Please? Promise? Okay.
[Thunder Rumbling]
- Hey, you wanna go to dinner tonight? - Oh, I can't. I've got a date.
- You know Fabio? His cousin's neighbor. - Good. Yeah, good.
- He's a plumber. - [Bell Jingles]
- Good night! - [Door Closes]
[Sighs] Hmm.
[Helen's Voice] Dearest, do you know how in love with you I am?
Did I trip? Did I stumble?
Lose my balance? Graze my knee? Graze my heart?
I know I'm in love when I see you.
I know when I long to see you, I'm on fire.
Not a muscle has moved.
Leaves hang unruffled by any breeze. The air is still.
I have fallen in love without taking a step.
You're all wrong for me, and I know it.
But I no longer care for my thoughts unless they're thoughts of you."
Oh, Helen,
I'm gonna, I'm gonna knock off early 'cause I got a date with Dan's sister's neighbor.
And... Okay.
When I peel an orange, when I drive my car,
when I lie down each night without you,
I remain... yours."
Who the hell is... yours"?
- [Door Opens] - [Bell Jingles]
- What are you doin'? - What?
You're all wrong for me, and I know it.
But I no longer care for my thoughts unless they're thoughts of you.
[Sighs]
- Oh! Ow! Damn it! - Sorry I'm late.
Woke up this morning and couldn't find my bra. Oh, that's gotta hurt.
- Yeah. How was your date last night? - Oh.
We had great sex.
Great sex. I don't even remember when I had great sex.
I don't remember the last time you had sex.
Listen, you threw out a postcard from your mom.
She says that Florence reminds her of Loblolly-By-The-Sea.
Yeah, Charming, but provincial. Lillian."
When did she leave town again?
Tuesday, August 1, a year ago.
August 1 a year ago was a Tuesday?
- Yep. - Well...
- So, so, she left town just, just about the... - I came back.
Oh, you came back. I wish my mom would do that.
[Frenchman's Voice] Did I trip? Did I stumble?
Lose my balance? Graze my knee? Graze my heart?
I prefer it in hardback, if you still have it available.
I know how it is with some of these top sellers.
They come out in paperback, and then they fall apart.
- Do you work here? - [Men's Voices Together] When I'm close to you,
I feel your hair brush my cheek when it does not.
I look away from you sometimes, then I look back.
When I tie my shoes, when I peel an orange, when I drive my car...
[Old Women Together] When I lie down each night without you,
I remain yours.
What about Simone de Beauvoir's Letters to Sartre?
- That's good. - Letters to a Young Poet, Rilke.
Oh, I love this book.
Listen to this: [Reads Aloud In German]
- [German Continues] - Listen to this one.
- This is from a soldier in the Civil War. - Hey, hey.
If I do not return, dear Sarah, do not mourn me dead.
When my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name."
[Johnny's Voice] Dearest, do you know how much in love with you I am?
I know I'm in love when I see you. I know when I long to see you.
When I lie in bed each night without you.
[George's Voice] I've fallen in love without taking a step.
You're all wrong for me, and I know it.
I'm on fire. Not a muscle has moved.
The leaves hang unruffled by any breeze.
- Janet called. Told me you had a bee problem. - What?
- I got all the right gear to de-bee the place. - [Janet] George, over here!
- [Bees Buzzing] - Hey, George.
Have you ever, um... Have you ever been on fire?
- On fire? - Yeah.
Well, I'm near fire. Trained to fight fire,
but have I ever been on fire?
No, never. Thank God.
- I don't mean literally. I mean emotionally. - [Buzzing Continues]
Oh, you mean passion.
Well, yeah. Sure. Sure.
I get fired up when I listen to opera.
All the great human emotions in three short hours, and all I got to do is sit there.
I don't like opera much. It's too...
- Too, too... - too emotional.
You know, all those endless feelings.
- Huh. - [Janet] Hey, what's going on?
- Well, we're talking about opera. - Oh, I love opera!
- You do not! No you don't. - I do.
- I listen to it when I vacuum all the time. - Will you give me a hand here?
- I got it. - All right. All right. Uh, hand me my smoke.
- I'm ready. - Oh, boy.
- Thanks, George. I'll buy ya dinner. - Great. You're on!
- Be careful. Get it? - You don't like opera.
- I do too. - You don't even understand Italian.
Opera's in Italian?
[Whistle Blowing]
[Johnny] So old Loblolly was once called Recklesstown?
[Scattergoods] My great aunt, Patricia Scattergoods Randolph, raised hounds.
Before it was Helen's bookstore,
they all lived in that house together...
Aunt Batty Patty and the dogs.
- [Whistle Blowing] - A thinning gene pool is a terrible thing to witness.
Ah.
Civilization's crowning achievement. The cocktail hour.
So Helen's bookstore once housed a madwoman and her dogs?
And your parent's house once housed a speakeasy during Prohibition.
[Blowing Continues]
I like that name. Recklesstown.
[Seagulls Cawing]
- So, you run. - Yeah.
Hey, did you know your bookstore used to house a madwoman and her dogs?
Still does.
[Panting]
Hey, uh, bet I can beat you to that rock over there.
On your mark, get set, go!
So, uh, what if I win?
- [Grunts] - Oh!
I'll cook you dinner!
- [Doorbell Rings] - Oh, he's early.
- You're early. - [Johnny] Yeah.
- Hi. - I didn't use conditioner.
It really saves a lot of time in the shower.
(music) I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth (music)
- I hope you like spaghetti. - Oh, yeah. Homemade sauce?
- Uh, uh-huh. - Oh, that's great. My mom would make it with bay leaves.
- Bay leaves are good. - One or two?
- (music) Love potion number nine (music) - Two. That's how I make it.
- (music) I told her that I was a flop with chicks (music) - Hey, chaise lounge.
(music) I've been this way since 1956 (music)
- (music) She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign (music) - It's very chaise.
(music) She said, What you need is love potion number nine" (music)
(music) She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink (music)
(music) She said, I'm gonna mix it up right here in the sink" (music)
(music) It smelled like turpentine and looked like India ink (music)
(music) I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink (music)
- (music) I didn't know if it was day or night (music) - Excuse me.
- (music) I started kissing everything in sight (music) - You can get your wine.
(music) But when I kissed a cop at 34th and Vine (music)
(music) He broke my little bottle of love potion number nine (music)
[Helen's Voice] Dearest, do you know how much in love with you I am?
Not a muscle has moved.
I have fallen in love without taking a step.
You are all wrong for me and I know it,
but I can no longer care for my thoughts unless they're thoughts of you.
When I'm close to you, I feel your hair brush my cheek when it does not.
When I tie my shoes, when I peel an orange,
when I drive my car...
Did you find it okay?
[Sighs]
You want some?
- Good night. - [Door Closes]
[Johnny] Hey, McNeely,
what are you doin'?
I'm jogging.
Since when did you start jogging?
Today.
So, did you just have dinner at Helen's house?
Maybe.
Well, you know, I had dinner at her house way before you were even hired.
Wanna go shoot some hoops, tough guy?
- Sure. - You're not too tired?
- No. - Okay, I'll see you there.
No, give me a ride.
- Give me a ride! Give me a ride! - Huh?
You know that Helen's celibate? [Panting]
- Has been for years. - I don't believe that.
- Not physically. Emotionally. - What's that supposed to mean?
You are so clueless.
I'm thinking about making the same choice myself.
Well, how can you be celibate if you're still a virgin?
Shut up!
[Laughs] Ow! You know what I think?
I think Helen's weird.
[McNeely Laughing]
[Janet] Merchandising. That's what we need.
New Age stuff, you know? Deepak Chopra.
You could... You know, like, crystals, tarot cards.
We could get a palm reader in here. Those people...
I mean, they don't have to be licensed or anything. Anybody could do it.
My aunt, actually, could do it. She's blind.
[Helen] She sends a letter every day.
- [Janet] She who? - Miss Scattergoods.
Have you ever had an epistolary relationship?
Sounds kind of kinky, Helen. I'm not into kinky.
No, no, no. It's not kinky.
It means, letters, of letters, carried on by letters."
Like love letters.
Can't fuck a letter, Helen.
(music) [Band]
[Whistle Blowing]
Hey, hey!
- Come back here! - Oh!
[Dan] Hey! [Yells]
Johnny, uh, meet my roommate Kelly.
- Hi. - Hi.
Okay. Bye.
Yeah, he's, he's a babe.
Yeah, but in a totally understated, non-obvious-babe-like way.
- Right? - [Ray Over P.A.] I see a new Loblolly-By-The-Sea.
A Loblolly-By-The-Sea that can compete in the global marketplace.
I'm Ray Bean Junior,
and a vote for me is a vote for you.
Young lady, bring that sparkler over here, would you?
- Thank you, dear. - You're welcome, Miss Scattergoods.
This is the best spot.
You can see everything from here.
[Chattering, Laughing]
- You know who the best-looking guy in class was? - Who?
In our whole class? Who? Tommy Bailey!
- Oh, Tommy Bailey was gorgeous. - Yeah, he was gor...
Granted. He was much better-Looking than you.
- Thank you. - [Crowd Reacting]
Oh, my God.
[Fireworks Whistling, Crackling]
Wow.
[Cheering, Applause]
[Cheering, Applause Continue]
The air is still, isn't it?
It's humid.
Leaves hang unruffled by any breeze.
Not a muscle has moved.
When I tie my shoes, when I peel an orange,
when I drive my car.
[Thunder Rumbling]
Hey, you know what? We just ran into George,
and he said the best thing to do on a hot day is to drink something hot.
- Mm-hmm. It cools the body off. - He knows weird little things like that all the time.
- You're both late. - We are late.
You're right. We're late. This is one of the mornings you're actually right.
We're late. We're about... Excuse me, I don't have a watch.
Four and a half minutes late. Can you believe that?
Wow, sorry. We tried to just make it four minutes late,
but then we stopped and said hello to someone.
Where's Johnny?
[Bell Jingles]
Hi, Jen.
Hi.
- Nice bod! - [Chuckles] What?
Well, I mean, I hate to objectify you,
but, historically, it is my turn,
and... good pecs, nice abs.
How's it feel to be an object, babe?
- Um... weird. - Oh, well!
Put your shirt back on! We're trying to sell books here.
- It is hot in here. - I know, I know it's hot.
I know, I mean, I can feel the hot. It's hot outside.
So it's hot in here, and I would be able to feel that it's hot in here because I've got skin.
So, I want you to put your shirt on.
I want you to put your shirt on now. I'd like for you to put your shirt on.
[Sighs] Okay.
Because you smell.
[Laughs] Wow, Helen, you just acted like such a bitch.
- [Door Closes] - [Janet] I think you owe him an apology.
[Fly Buzzing]
- [Sighs] - I, I meant in a good way.
L...
[Mocking] Put your shirt on." It's a hundred degrees!
Put your shirt on!
Johnny?
Ow!
Johnny, I, I need to talk to you.
Janet wants me to talk to you because you seemed like...
Well, she felt like you were upset, and, well, you can't quit...
because we really need someone tall at the bookstore.
And you're tall.
Are you even here?
Johnny?
I know I was pretty rude, so I could make it up to you.
Maybe I can help you organize your, your desk, your table down there.
You had a lot of papers and a lot of work.
It seemed like you could try to do the kitchen too.
'Cause all the food laying on the table...
Johnny?
I know you're here... somewhere.
Look, I came to apologize.
Johnny?
What I said was awful.
[Sighs] I came to work... Maybe it was the heat, I don't know.
I came upstairs, and you were working without your shirt on.
It was... I mean, l...
It was so hot, and l...
You don't smell. I made that up.
L-I'm sorry.
I'm not really a mean person. I'm not mean at all.
L-I don't think of myself as a mean person.
I'm not a mean person. Really, I'm not.
L...
It's just that... when I came upstairs...
and... you were working and you didn't have your shirt on, I, I, l...
Maybe it was the heat or something, and I got confused.
So I could have been nice and said,
Please put on your shirt,"
but I didn't say that.
[Heavy Breathing]
- How much is a surgery like that? - Hey, Jan.
- Hey, George. How are you? - Bees come back?
Uh, no, they did not, thank goodness. Whatever you did scared 'em away.
Now, listen. I got your new smoke detectors here.
- Batteries included. - Perfect. Yeah. Oh!
Goodness sakes alive. That is going to hurt somebody someday.
- I gotta get that fixed. - I'll help you.
- Really, will you? Thank you. - Anything for you, Janet.
Oh, you are so sweet. How come you're so good to me?
- Now listen. - Yeah.
- Don't forget to read your manuals. - I won't.
- See ya! - Bye.
- [Bell Jingles] - [Door Closes]
[Janet's Voice] Dearest, do you know how much in love with you I am?
Did I trip? Did I stumble? Lose my balance?
Graze my knee? Graze my heart?
I'm on fire. Not a muscle has moved.
Air is still. I have fallen in love without taking a step.
You are all wrong for me and I know it,
but I can no longer care for my thoughts...
unless they're thoughts of you.
When I lie down each night without you,
I remain... yours."
[Siren Wailing]
Dan, hi.
Can I see your license, please?
Mm-hmm.
Getting my license. My license, license.
Oh, God, where's my purse?
Oh.
I don't have my license.
You were doing 60 in a 30-mile-per-hour zone.
You ran the stop sign.
You should be more careful, Helen.
[Crying]
Oh, no. Um...
Give me the ticket.
- Okay. - Don't cry. Look, look. Here.
I'm ripping it up, okay? Look. No, no more ticket. No ticket, okay? Don't cry.
See? Look, look. It's flying. It's all feathers. Nothing. In the air.
- Okay? No ticket. - [Sobbing]
[Car Approaching]
- [Engine Stops] - [Door Opens, Closes]
- Hey, where have you been? - Hi, I got my tires rotated.
Really? Take your purse. You forgot it.
- Where are your shoes? What happened to you? - Um...
What are you in a hurry for? You won't believe this, but George has a crush on me.
- Really? - Yes. Do you have anything to drink?
He comes into the shop today, and we're standing, talking at the counter.
You know how the counter falls through sometimes? We gotta get that thing fixed.
So I say, We gotta get this thing fixed."And he says, I'll help you."
I said, Really?" And he said, Sure, anything for you, Janet."
- Anything for you, Janet," he said. - And?
So, then... That's not enough, I know.
Then he puts the smoke detectors on the counter,
and he looks at me and puts the manuals in front of me.
And he looks at me, and he says,
Make sure you read the manuals."
And he kinda... He blinked. Like a wink.
No blink, but like a... Kind of a sexy...
Not anything like I'm doing I'm sure, but anyway... And then...
And then he gives me... this.
Okay. Do you know how in love with you I am?"
Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm on fire."
Get it? He's a fireman.
- Um, I don't think George could write a letter like this. - Well, neither did I.
Then I read that, and I think, well, the man is hot!
He's got this passion just brewing inside of him that's dying to get out.
It's not yours.
You know, Helen, I come over and share this with you.
Why can't you be happy for me?
Why can't you just be excited that I get something...
- That I would get a letter. - It's mine.
- What? - It's mine.
I just found it, and so l...
And I'm, I'm sorry. I, um...
Well, who, um...
- I don't know. - What, what do you mean?
Well, well, how... Where did you get it?
In the mail.
- At the house here? - In the bookstore.
So they just sent, like, an addressed envelope to you?
No, it wasn't in an envelope.
You found the letter the same way I did, didn't you?
But, but it's not for me.
But it's for you.
Because I wouldn't get a love letter, would I?
- You misunderstand me. - Please help me understand it.
I don't understand why you know it's for you, and it's not for me.
Can you help me?
I, l...
- I can't. - I can.
You wanted it to be yours, so it's yours.
I'm tired of it.
So let me tell you something. I quit.
I quit being your friend. I quit the bookstore.
That's it. I quit. Anything else I can quit I'll quit too.
[Bell Jingles]
I don't know where Janet keeps the purchase orders.
You need to go to Gloucester today. Jennifer has a list.
In fact, you can go together. It's summertime. We need maps. We need lots of maps.
We could use some number-two pencils. A broom. We need a wide broom.
So you'll be gone all day.
[Jennifer] Cool. Field trip.
- [Door Opens] - [Bell Jingles]
- [Phone Rings] - [Door Closes]
[Ringing Continues]
- Helen? - Hi, George.
- So how about that dinner you owe me? - Uh-huh. Great.
So, Helen gave me two tickets to the Keaton Film Festival tonight,
and she said that I should invite you.
- I think she's trying to get us together. - Great.
- [Dan] I think she's on dope. - [Woman] Shh!
Something's up with her. I pulled her over for speeding, and she acted very suspicious.
- Shh! People are trying to watch the movie. - It's a silent movie.
- You can't hear them speak anyway. - Just shh!
- I'm gonna have to go to the bookstore and check her out. - Shh!
I thought she meant Diane Keaton.
I thought she meant Michael Keaton.
- [Jennifer] I told you he was in love with her. - [Johnny] He is not.
Of course he is.
Everyone's in love with Helen.
Don't you think she's incredible for someone her age?
I mean, she's a bitch, but it's liberating to be a bitch.
You have to be a bitch sometimes just to hold your own.
I mean, of course you don't. You're a man.
A man just has to be, and the world delivers.
- So unfair. - Life's unfair.
[Jennifer] I guess it is. So you have to wear a bib if you're gonna have lobster.
- Helen, hi! How are you? - Hey!
[Chattering]
[Chattering Continues]
Hi, guys!
Kelly, hi.
So, um, do you think you can clear out tonight?
Because I think I just got lucky.
- (music) [Opera] - [George] Helen, the prom is the uber date.
Right, but that wasn't a real date.
I mean, you were just... You took me because you were being a good friend.
- Who was gonna take me to the prom with a body cast? - [Chuckling]
Yeah, you're right. No one else would do that. Just me.
See? So that was our only date.
And it wasn't even a real date because you were being a good friend.
But maybe I was being a good friend...
because I remember you were in a sky blue tuxedo with ruffles.
[Chuckles] Is this a date?
Well... I love driving this truck.
I really like driving this truck.
- What about the night... - What does this do?
- [Siren Wails] - Please, don't touch that. Don't touch that.
We closed that place. That was a date.
No, that wasn't a date.
I had just gotten divorced from Kenny.
You were about to... be married,
and you were very very happy and I was miserable.
Oh, I remember that night differently.
I remember I was getting married.
And you were finally single.
Big deal. Just because you leaned over in the restaurant...
and kissed me in what felt like a pretty passionate way,
doesn't mean, like, that has to lead to anything or anything.
It just... We can still be friends.
I just... I'm sure I'm just having an ego vanity reaction... right now.
I just... I mean, I don't need your desire to make me feel desirable.
That's such a male-identified way for a woman to view herself.
I don't need your gaze. I just...
thought that maybe...
you did... really want to spend the night with me.
But you know what? [Nervous Chuckle]
It's cool. It's... [Laughs]
- Oh, shit. - [Dogs Barking]
Thanks for letting me drive, George.
- Did I have a choice? - No.
So, next week, the opera. Our fourth date.
First official.
- Deal. - Great.
[Door Opens, Closes]
[Chattering]
- [Man] Thank you very much. - [Janet] So that is my feelings on salt and pepper.
Sugar. Condiments. Let's move on to that.
Ketchup, obviously the most popular condiment.
- Mm-hmm. - I don't think anybody is gonna disagree with me on that one.
When... First of all, always wipe the bottles down.
Sticky? There's nothing grosser than that. I'm sure there's something grosser,
but it's pretty gross to have a sticky when you're trying to have some food.
[Helen] Yes, I've been on hold for ten minutes.
I know there's a way to summarize accounts payable by creditor.
- No, Janet Frank is not available. - [Bell Jingles]
No, please don't hang up on me again!
- J-Just give me a second, um... - Hi.
I'll ask my other assistant. Jennifer!
Yeah?
[Seagulls Cawing]
So, don't flatter yourself, okay?
Don't think I lost my hair over you because I didn't.
- I wasn't thinking that. - Oh, yeah.
- I'm really sorry about last night. - It's okay. I'm over it now.
I'm over it.
You have a nice-shaped head.
[Chuckles] Really?
Anyway, like I was saying last night before you interrupted me,
was Freud supposedly asked What do women want?"
No one knows what they want, Jennifer. That's the human condition.
Some people know what they want.
They might not know how to get it, but they know what they want.
Hi.
- Today's your day off. - I know.
I love you.
[Softly] Oh, no.
- Did you hear me? - Uh-huh. Yeah.
What do you want from me?
Oh, no, no.
- This. - Mmm.
[Bell Jingles]
[Snorts]
Helen?
[Dan's Voice] Did I trip? Did I stumble?
Lose my balance?
I have fallen in love without taking a step.
When I'm close to you,
I feel your hair brush my cheek when it does not.
I look away from you sometimes,
then I look back.
When I tie my shoes,
when I peel an orange,
when I drive my car,
when I lie down each night without you,
I remain yours."
I love your toes.
I love your nose.
- I love your ear lobes. - Johnny.
I love your voice.
I love you.
- You gotta stop saying that. - I can't.
I never felt this way before.
Of course not.
You're 20.
(music) Seems I've got to have a change of scene (music)
(music) 'Cause every night I have (music)
(music) The strangest dreams (music)
(music) Imprisoned by the way (music)
(music) It could have been (music)
(music) Left here on my own (music)
(music) Or so it seems (music)
(music) I've got to leave (music)
(music) Before I start to scream (music)
(music) But someone locked the door and took the key (music)
(music) You feelin' all right (music)
(music) All right (music)
(music) I'm not feeling too good myself (music)
(music) Oh, no (music)
(music) Well, feelin' all right (music)
(music) All right (music)
(music) I'm not feelin' too good myself (music)
- (music) Oh, no (music) - What are you doing?
Tracing the lines on your face.
- [Sighs] - You have so many wrinkles.
(music) And even now I sit and I wonder why (music)
- (music) [Continues] - Oh, man. How long has it been?
Fifteen minutes. About.
Okay, okay. Five more.
(music) Gotta stop believin' in all your lies (music)
- (music) Because there's too much to do before I die (music) - [Phone Ringing]
- [Ringing Continues] - [Machine Beeps]
[George On Answering Machine] Helen, are you there? Hello?
The opera awaits. I'll be there in ten minutes.
[Machine Beeps]
[Doorbell Rings]
I'll be right there! Ooh!
[Sighs]
Hi, George.
You look great.
(music) [Woman Singing Opera]
[Crying]
[People Chattering]
[George] I thought you didn't like opera.
[Helen] I don't. I still don't.
To Tosca. He died for love.
To... old friends.
To you...
- and your secret. - [Coughs]
- Mmm. Yes, what secret? - You okay? You sure?
- [Sighs] - Well, Helen, you're not as tough as people think.
- Because I cried? George, I never cry. - Yeah.
Never have. Don't like sad. You know that.
Well, what about when I took you to Love Story?
Hmm?
So, when did you, um, start loving opera?
In New York, 1976.
Oh, the Bicentennial trip.
It wasn't a trip.
I moved there.
You don't... remember...
me writing to you from New York?
I sent you postcards.
Yep, I remember the postcards.
You never responded.
To a postcard?
The opera was really... okay, George.
Good night.
You know,
the night... Tosca premiered,
Puccini's enemies tried to sabotage it.
When the curtain went up, the audience...
was suddenly flooded with late arrivals.
So the curtain had to come down.
And this happened over and over again...
because Puccini always insisted that everyone see it...
from the beginning to the end.
What I'm trying to say is,
no matter... how many times the curtain goes up or goes down,
I'm not leavin' my seat because I know when this finally starts,
it's gonna be great.
I'm not very good at this, am I?
You know, I really wanted to kiss you just then, Helen.
But, I guess I'm going through a lot right now,
and we should just probably take it slow.
- [Car Door Closes] - [Engine Starts]
The big city waits for you."
Oh, my God!
Hey, you got another postcard from your mom.
She and your grandmother are coming to visit.
- Huh? - Cool.
You're gonna have a house full of women.
[Chattering]
Hi.
I miss you.
Of course you miss me. We're in a fight. We're not talking.
[Sighs] The other day I think, um,
that I hurt your feelings.
Well, I know that I hurt your feelings.
I was... not being very sensitive.
I was insensitive, and I was thoughtless,
and I was being a little bit greedy.
- What was the last thing? I couldn't hear that. - A little greedy.
Anyway, that's about it. Right?
Oh, I don't think so.
There's bossy, opinionated.
You always have to be right about everything.
You never listen to me.
You, um, you never have any gossip.
I'm the one who has all the gossip.
You have nothing... to add ever...
to gossip.
You can eat anything you want and not gain weight.
[Sighs]
Did Jennifer get those things that she called about?
Yes, she did. They were exactly where you put them.
The big purchase order that was supposed to come Monday, it didn't come.
- What do you mean? - The big order that we...
- The children's books? - The children's books, yeah.
- Do you know that school st... - The back-to-school reading list.
- All the moms are coming in. - Did you call to find out? Did you trace it?
- No, I didn't trace it. - What's the matter with you? You didn't trace it?
They said it was supposed to be delivered on Monday.
- Aren't you supposed to be able to trust these people? - Yes, but you have to follow up.
- Did you know Grandma's coming to town? - What?
And she's bringing my mom. I don't even have one bathroom that works.
- Well, that's gonna be... Watch out! Careful, sonny! - [Bicycle Bell Dings]
- [Door Closes] - [George] Helen.
Helen?
Helen? Oh. Hey, Johnny. Is Helen here?
- Uh, I think she went to the bank. - Oh.
- So, how's it going? You like workin' here? - It's pretty good.
When are you leavin'?
Leaving? [Chuckles]
Well, y... Go back to college, to New York?
- September. - Oh, in a couple of weeks.
Ah, well, I always kind of wanted to go away to school.
You're a lucky guy, Johnny.
Uh, tell Helen I found the bracelet she lost...
at the opera the other night.
- See ya. - See ya.
- (music) [Jazz] - Cheer up, Johnny.
- You're far too young to die. - [Chattering]
Yeah.
But I spend all afternoon thinking about...
a person that I detest and then the beautiful way...
that her hair falls about her face.
- (music) [Continues] - [Chattering Continues]
The whole problem is I'm in love with somebody...
that I'm not supposed to be in love with.
That's it. That's it, Miss Scattergoods.
That's it in a nutshell.
Me too, darling.
Me too.
That's why we're here.
Two more.
Two for the people we shouldn't be in love with.
Let's arm wrestle.
- Arm wrestle? - Arm wrestle.
Okay, here we go.
- [Straining, Grunting] - [Grunts]
- Ooh. Look at that. - Look at that?
- Pretty good. - Yeah, you're doin' great.
- I'm doin' great. Hold on a minute. - [Both Chuckle]
[Horn Honking]
You didn't get my regular coffee, did you?
Can't you... Can't you just have a latte?
Yes, I could, but I asked for a regular coffee. That's what l...
- Hi, Helen. - [Sighs]
Well, it's all over town already.
Your grandmother brought a moving man with her from Florida.
A moving van, not a moving man."
Save me.
Morning, Grandma.
Oh, Helen, can I borrow your car while I'm here?
That Jaguar is so unreliable.
Mother, you should never have bought that car in the first place.
Helen, don't you feel hemmed in, what with all these trees overgrown?
She hates the idea of an aged parent.
Imagine how it feels to have an aged daughter.
Oh, Helen, I had, uh, Ray Junior...
put the wrought-iron chairs on the back porch, okay?
- That's a good place for them. - Okay.
I am very considerate...
when intruding on my daughter, aren't I, darling?
- Very considerate. - Mm-hmm. Oh, thank you.
Yes, just one little bag for a late, short summer visit,
unlike some people.
Am I intruding?
Oh, no, you're not intruding. It's just that there's so much... of you.
And so little time.
Oh, please.
[Seagulls Cawing]
So, I heard you went to the opera the other night.
Yeah, I did.
So that's why you left so quickly, huh?
Yeah. S-Sorry about that.
Funny thing about Tosca.
She kills herself at the end to prove her love for Mario.
But if you think about it,
if she'd just allowed herself to love him completely from the very beginning,
then she wouldn't have had to go through all that mess.
Wouldn't you say?
[Chuckles]
[Cawing Continues]
[Chattering]
[Knocking On Door]
Here, sweetie.
[Child Babbling]
- Helen. - Hi, George.
- I know this is weird, but I found the... - This is...
really kind of a bad time.
Um, Nancy's here...
and the lawyers,
and we're just trying to settle some final things.
I really...
can't talk.
I'm sorry.
- [Door Closes] - [Child] Mommy!
[Nancy] All right. Go play.
[Lawyer] Just go ahead and sign right there.
[Child Babbling]
[Crickets Chirping]
[Chimes Clinking]
[Vehicle Approaching]
[Car Door Opens, Closes]
[Door Opens]
What are you doing sitting here in the dark?
It has been so wonderful to spend time with you, darling.
[Sighs] I know we don't confide in each other much.
I know that, but I need to talk to you.
- Life doesn't always take the turn we expect, you know? - No, it doesn't.
And love, God, love hardly ever does, Helen.
I thought it could.
You know, we can't choose who we fall in love with, hmm?
I'm moving out next week.
I know you hate it here, but why do you have to leave so soon?
I mean, I need you here!
I'm not leaving.
You're not?
It's one of the ironies of my otherwise straightforward life...
that I have fallen in love twice.
Both times with people who insist on living in this godforsaken town.
I'm moving in with Constance.
Who?
[Chuckles] Miss Scattergoods to you.
We were together years ago in New York before I married your father...
and then again after your father died.
She wanted to come back here and start a life together.
[Crying Softly]
But anyway, when she decided to make the move, I decided to leave town.
But while I was away, I realized I can't live without her.
So, there you are, darling. Mommy's a dyke.
[Chuckles]
That's finished, thank God.
You've been roaming all over the world because of Miss Scattergoods?
- I thought you left because you didn't want to be near me. - Oh, don't be ridiculous!
- Of course not. - I know, but I moved back here and you left.
I was just taking care of myself, that's all.
[Sighs, Sniffles]
What did you want to tell me?
Hmm?
I'm tired.
I think I'm gonna go to bed now.
Oh, I thought you might want to talk about Johnny.
Constance tells me he is absolutely besotted.
Very French, your affair with him, Helen.
[Sniffles]
Hi.
I was wondering when you were going to call me.
Well, thanks for meeting me like this.
I missed you.
Listen, Johnny, um, I want to tell you something.
L-I've something I want to tell you too.
Well, you go first.
This summer's been so good.
No, it's been incredible.
And you have made me feel...
uh, I mean, I feel lucky.
Really. And, uh,
what I'm trying to tell you is that l-I've never really felt...
- I mean, I didn't remember... - Why don't I go first?
- Okay. - Um,
I want to, um... I want to marry you.
I'm just kiddin'.
[Chuckles]
Uh, you know,
I know that this is going really fast for both of us,
and you're scared and I'm scared too,
but you don't have to worry about that anymore,
- because I'm not going back to school. - Oh, no.
I'm gonna stay here with you.
No, no, no, no. No, no, you have to go.
You should go back to school.
Well, I could move in with you. We could see how that is.
- You could see how that feels. - No, you can't do that.
Okay. I could stay with my parents.
You think that this isn't gonna last,
but you're wrong, because you love me.
You don't say it but you do. You love me. I know it.
So why don't you just say it?
You wrote the letter! You left it for me to find.
I never wrote you th... a letter.
You wrote me the letter.
- I wrote you the letter? - Yes, you left it in the cushions...
- You left it next to the wine bottle. - Of a couch at the bookstore.
- You didn't... - You didn't?
I didn't.
When I peel an orange..." That wasn't you?
It's mine from you, whoever wrote it.
This wasn't a mistake.
No.
No, it wasn't a mistake.
I love you.
George, um, you know, l-I had to take Grandma's old car,
and like she said, it's always breaking down.
- Johnny saw me, and he brought me... - You don't need to do this.
Home.
I know, but you must think this is terrible.
- It's 2:00 in the morning. - I don't need an explanation.
[Sighs]
I just came by because... the divorce papers came through.
I mean, everything's done. The divorce is final.
[Sighs]
Can you forgive me?
Forgive you for what? For being human?
Messy, fucked-up... That's the good stuff, Helen.
[Chuckles]
You know, all these years I've had this story in my mind...
a story about us...
that never really existed.
And because of that story,
I've kept you framed, up on a wall...
in a little box of nostalgic moonlight.
- George, listen. - No, let me finish.
- I can... - I need to finish this.
I was a fool...
for not acting on my feelings when the time was right.
When the... possibility existed,
I... walked the other way.
And keeping you in that little box...
was the only way I knew I could really have you.
And now when I'm finally ready to tell you that I want you,
it's too late.
[Sighs]
Is it?
We just have bad timing.
I'm taking my girls and moving to New York.
Don't go.
[Sighs]
- [Exhales Forcefully] - Mmm.
George came by looking for you, dear.
I know. I saw him, Grandma.
Your mother's in the living room. I think she has insomnia.
But it's 2:00 a.m., and we're wide-awake.
We're night owls. We're just a little bunch of night owls wandering around.
I wonder if Emily's a night owl. Could be genetic.
I'm going to bed, dear. Sweet dreams.
Good night.
[Laughing]
Ah.
Just missing one little piece. [Scoffs]
Oh! There it is!
- Hey. - You're on time.
- Hey, listen. Do you know what you're gonna get Johnny for his birthday? - No.
Of course I waited until the last minute, and now I can't decide.
Pocketknife or bottle opener?
It seemed like I always needed a bottle opener in college. [Sighs]
- It's gonna be quiet around here with Johnny and Jennifer gone, huh? - Yeah, it is.
I cannot believe your mom is in love with a woman.
She's so open. My mother would never tell me a thing like that.
Your mother would never do a thing like that.
Miss Scattergoods. Constance.
[Chuckles]
Imagine being in love with Miss Scattergoods.
Imagine being in love.
Did I trip? Did I stumble? Lose my balance?"
Did you write this?
Every word.
No one ever wrote me a love letter before!
- [People Chattering] - [Children Laughing]
[Chattering Continues]
Happy birthday, Johnny. It's my thesis.
The one I've been working on all summer.
Women Alive and Daring: The Psychosexual Sociology...
of Women From Ages 20 to 50.
By Jennifer McNeely."
Wow. Thanks, Jen.
I was gonna call it Good Bitch/Bad Bitch:
What I Learned From My Boss, Helen MacFarquhar,"
but I thought that sounded kind of insular, so...
And you're in the acknowledgements.
And thanks to Johnny Howell,
a great guy who will be a great man when he grows up."
So, you're gonna keep in touch and write, like with e-mail and stuff?
Yeah, definitely.
[No Audible Dialogue]
[Children Shouting]
George, when are you leaving for New York?
I'm taking the girls on the train tomorrow. Thought they'd like that.
So, the big city waits for you."
L-I found the postcard.
I want you to know that.
George, I never read the inside.
George, how will I reach you?
I'll send you a postcard.
[Miss Scattergoods] Dearest, do you know how much in love with you I am?
I have fallen in love without taking a step.
Did I trip? Did I stumble? Lose my balance?
Graze my knee? Graze my heart?"
Where did that come from?
I wrote this and sent it to you decades ago.
I had no idea you ripped it up and taped it back together again.
I never ripped it up. I th... [Scoffs]
I thought I lost it. L...
I haven't seen this letter since...
l-I don't know. Where did this come from?
I must have revised it at least 50 times before I sent it.
I don't think I ever got it exactly right.
No, you got it right, dear.
[Lillian] I know I'm in love when I see you. I know when I long to see you,
[Miss Scattergoods Joins In] I'm on fire.
[Other Voices Join In] When I'm close to you, I feel your hair...
brush my cheek when it does not.
I look away from you sometimes,
then I look back.
When I tie my shoes,
when I peel an orange,
when I drive my car,
I remain yours."
- [Seagulls Cawing] - (music) [Jazz]
(music) I'm in the mood for love (music)
(music) Simply because you're near me (music)
(music) Oh, funny when you're near me (music)
(music) I'm in the mood for love (music)
(music) If there's a cloud above (music)
(music) If it should rain we'll let it (music)
(music) Oh, just for the night Forget it (music)
(music) Baby, I'm in the mood for love (music)
5@y3